What I learned from pregnancy....

Those of you who have been through pregnancy will find that these tidbits I discovered are no surprise and might laugh at how naive I was, but this is what I've learned in my limited experience:

1. No matter how much I try to lie myself into thinking I am in control, God could easily remind me of his role in the matter with the little person He was putting together inside my tummy...talk about frustrating, humbling, comforting, and scary all at the same time.

2. Nine months is a very very long time to wait for something as exciting as a baby.

3. Chinese food does not sit well on a nauseous stomach.

4. Getting a round house kick to the ribs everyday is as miraculous and painful as it sounds.

5. Watching your tummy wiggle involuntarily is the strangest yet most incredible experience.

6. Hips hurt when they are trying to get wider.

7. Lower backs hurt when they are holding up a big belly.

8. Sleep is hard to do when the little nugget decides its wake time. Or when the calf cramps stop by for their nightly visit. Or when its time to pee for the 18th time.

9. Breathing gets hard to do when your lungs are confined to a third of the space they normally have to function.

10. No matter how hard you try to defy it, "pregnancy brain" is a real thing.

11. A peaceful walk next to a creek can easily become a not so subtle reminder that there is a baby pressing on the bladder and I haven't visited the bathroom in the last 20 minutes.

12. Grumpiness is alive and well when a baby is on the way and no matter how hard you try to fight it off sometimes it wins. Husbands beware.

13. Due dates don't mean squat.

14. Contractions hurt.

15. Sometimes it can take a very long time for pregnancy to be over. Like over 33 hours very long.

16. When the "water breaks" it can cause a surge of emotions: excitement, impatience, panic, and "holy cow, contractions do get worse!"

17. Four letter words that don't normally come from your mouth may or may not unexpectantly fire at will after experiencing #16.

18. Epidurals are God's special gift to woman kind. If you don't agree, I understand...just wait and see how you feel about it after hour 19 of pain...then you'll agree, after you cry tears of joy.

19. Everyone's body deals with extreme pain differently. Mine shakes uncontrollably and laughing creeps its way into my bawling. The nurse got a kick out of that.

20. There are a lot of fears about labor being embarrassing but when you're in the heat of the moment you could care less that everyone in the room is looking at your "girlie area", or that you puke all your guts out into the trashcan your husband is holding for you, or that you may or may not involuntarily do other things while pushing out a baby. All that starts to matter is holding that little baby in your arms.

21. All the frustration, impatience, and pain mentioned in 1-20 went away the moment she was laid on my chest and I said "Hi Lynley"... the crying came to an abrupt halt to focus on my face. My face. Mine. The source of the voice she had been hearing for 9 months. Her mother's voice. My voice. I think God gave me a very small taste of what it feels like for Him when He calls out after one of His children and he/she responds for the first time.

22. All that same frustration, impatience, and pain went even further away when I saw Josh with tears in his eyes hold our precious daughter and with an "I love you" put a kiss right on her little nose.

I'd do it again.

No doubt.

So, farewell pregnancy, until we meet again....

 

Wanted: Dead or...actually just dead.

Newton's first law of motion: Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it... keep this in mind, we'll get back to it...

Opossum, I've always had a dislike for the nasty creature that I'm convinced is from Satan himself,  but as of last Tuesday I was catapulted past slight disapproval straight to utter loathing when one of the stupid things tried to kill my husband.

The Vespa scooter was no match for the 15 pound beast and when Josh came to this realization, as the vile thing darted in front of him going 40 miles an hour, he tried to slam on the brakes. Enter Newton's first law of motion: the scooter had that "external force" of the brakes applied to suddenly slow it down, Josh however had no such force and thanks to said law: enter flying husband. As a result of airborne Josh, also enter hysterical pregnant wife who was following him in the car and caught the entire show.

They say your life flashes before your eyes when you have a "close encounter" with death, Josh said this wasn't true for him, there was no time...I however had my "future life" flash before my eyes as I sprint waddled up to him completley convinced he was going to die and I would be left here without him. It wasn't right. Not one bit. Horrible future life.

Thankfully, the Lord knew it wasn't right too and because of His mercy on me, Josh escaped with only bumps, bruises, and a broken collarbone.

Josh says one day I'll be able to look back and laugh at the time I almost went into labor because of an opossum...or about how I made him drive the rest of the way home because I was too much of an emotional train wreck to even try. Lets just say that day has yet to arrive. Might not for a good while.

Until that day, I can reflect back on the night and come away with four main points to focus on:

#1: I am so thankful for God's protection he poured out on Josh and for reminding me that He is in control even when I feel completley helpless.

#2: Josh is a such a wonderful blessing in my life that I take for granted sometimes. I tend to selfishly get distracted by stupid things like how I don't appreciate it when he: shakes his legs because it moves the whole couch/bed/car, tries to wear socks two/three/four days in a row, chews on his fingernails, or practices any of  his other hygene "no no's." How ridiculous is that? I shouldn't be focusing on these insignificant "flaws." I should instead be face down to the ground humbling my selfish self and thanking God for not only saving me but also blessing me beyond that by giving me (albeit not perfect but...) a wonderfully loving, intentionally Christ following, genuinely kind hearted man that I've been given to live this saved life with. And I'm completley in love with him too which is a wonderful perk as well. (Even if he does decides to go all "Evil Kinevil" on me every once in a while.)  Ok sorry, enough with the mushy.

Point #3: Wear your helmet people...Things could have been a lot worse for Josh if he hadn't had his on.

#4: Normally I'm no advocate for killing animals, but if you happen to see this Satan opossum around 167th street that came out of the Vespa incident unscathed...please kill the horrible thing. Its stupidity is a threat to human kind.

Mail Time!

I've always been convinced that there are few things in life that are more exciting than getting mail with your name on it. Like the "for real" mail. Not junk mail. Or bills.

So you can only imagine how excited I was when the UPS guy walked up with a huge box with my name on it...and how much more excited I was when I found out that the box wasn't for me but for our little girl....

Thank you Katie and Donnie Nickey!!! Both for the baby gifts and for making my day so exciting.

 And also for making Josh laugh his "thats really cute" laugh everytime he walks by this:

 And word has it Katie is in labor right now with her little guy Trey... How exciting!!! Praying for you and your precious little boy.

Just barely sliding by....no pun intended.

I wouldn't exactly call last night's birthing class a success, but we can say we made it through. The video night consisted of four "all natural" births with "all natural" graphics and "all natural" sounds.

We both started out strong when the computer animation demonstration was going on, but as the real people started popping out babies with all the breathing and the grunting we both started getting a little antsy. I noticed that Josh's legs were getting pretty wiggly and his face was slowly draining all color, it was then that I knew it was time for a mint and ice water...keep that in mind people...it works miracles. With the help of our little miracle workers, and Josh being such a manly man, he was able to pull it together and watch all four without any trips to the bathroom.  Well done Doodie, well done.

Its safe to say that we are both thankful to have that over with and after an uneasy evening, filled with anxiousness following the class, we were able to make it through sleeping last night nightmare free. But as Josh does tend to talk in his sleep if he has had a stressful day, it was completely justified when he sat up last night, asked to borrow a pencil and  then looked through the sheets for a pen that he wanted me to borrow.


For Josh I think that all of his "uneasy queasy" is behind him and he is just plain excited now...I mean, how could he not be when he gets a new pair of jeans which match the ones I found for his little buddy...

As for all of that anxiousness that was created in my heart during class last night .... gone the second Josh turned to me and said "Can I tell you something....our baby already has my heart."  Bring it on birth, bring it on.

I feel like we earned a night to take it down a notch, so we decided that Playing Rummikub while eating cupcakes was just the key. The cupcakes, by the way, made by my wonderful husband all by himself....He is just too sweet.

 

Hello strangers!

Yes, we are still alive....

I've been trying to get back into this blogging business for the past month now, but everytime I login and hit the "Edit" button on the post titled "Hello Strangers" the feeling of overwhelmedness (I think I made that word up) starts creeping in...I have no idea where to start to get you filled in on the past 5/6 ish months of our life....after overwhelmedness -- sheer panic. Once the panic hits then comes frustration closely followed by a closed laptop.

So I've decided we won't try to do that in one post. My new motto: Keep it simple, stupid.

 I'll catch you up as we go along but to start off, we'll cover the important ones....

1. We are still anxiously awaiting the arrival of our little girl...T-minus 10 weeks until D-day. Its taking way too long for us to get to meet this little one and to say we are excited is the understatement of the year. Its strange how after 7 months of her being with us Josh and I feel like we know her already.

2. Upon arrival back in the States, Josh and I have been blessed beyond belief with God's provision in our lives. We had no doubt that He would deliver, but man, did He deliver...Josh was offered a job within a month of being back, he started two weeks later and now we are fully insured with a steady income. Its amazing how much more important insurance becomes when you know you are on a timeline. "Obamacare" was sounding pretty good for a while...

3. My parents have been such a blessing as well, giving up their basement for the employed but still homeless us...especailly when they were on the brink of finally having the house to themselves after 28 years of raising 4 kids.

So thats good for now on catching up, we'll talk more about that later... Lets talk about tonight...

Here in about 3 hours Josh and I are headed to birthing class #2 where they show the videos of birth. I'm a little concerned. I wouldn't be as worried about it if he wouldn't have gotten whitish/green faced and ran to the bathroom after our first doctor's appointment where I had to get a "girlie test" and blood drawn ...true story. He says its only because it was me. He's precious and I love him.

I'm sure he'll do a great job, especially because there is a Sonic run waiting for him at the end of our movie date. But then again, he might not want to eat.

I'll let you know how it goes...

A poem for Valentines day...

There was once a girl who fell for a boy; she couldn’t help it, he was charming and coy.

Even though he was silly and ran into trees; being around him gave her heart an incredible squeeze.

 

To her surprise, he asked her to dinner; she then saw he was really quite a winner. 

 

It didn’t take long for her to know love is what she had; that’s why five months away from him was so horribly bad.

 

When he said “goodbye” her heart felt empty of all luck; she decided to fill the void with a cute little duck.

 

Dilbert made her laugh as he waddled around; but couldn’t replace the wonderful man she had found.

 

Then Mid-August he decided to come back; it took a lot of courage, but courage he didn’t lack.

 

It took a year and 4 months of dating bliss; to seal their love with a groom and bride kiss.

 

They then packed up their bags and headed Far East, where they’ve grown even closer to say the least.

 

They learned to cope together through thick and thin; he leaned on her as she leaned on him.

 

They cried when they were sad and laughed when things were funny; he even bought that girl a sweet little bunny.

 

Through the learning months their life has been filled with joy; so much love between that girl and that boy.

 

Together God has blessed them for over three years; yet still their life is to be filled with laughter and cheer.

 

God didn’t stop at giving them each other; You see, that bunny is now going to be the big brother.

 

That boy and that girl celebrate with a dance; because there is now going to be a tiny little Vance. 

 

 

The family petting zoo.

I feel like any time I think about my blog or begin to type all I feel is guilt. I'm not cut out for the blogging world. So I'm not going to start this post off with another "sorry its been so long"...because I'm just over that. :)

The Vance Chinese household has been a zoo the last couple of weeks...literally. We've enjoyed and also have been tormented by the petting zoo that is gradually expanding in the guest room.

The month of February is a big time for the Chinese culture. It is when they celebrate their "New Year", (not really sure why the rest of the world's new year isn't good enough, but to each his own) and they also celebrate the start of their spring season. The celebrations involve a month packed full with old traditions, activities,and time to spend with your family. So all of our friends from Fuzhou have packed up and hit the train tracks back to each of their own hometowns leaving the pets behind.

Over the last two weeks and for another  two weeks to come we will be the guardian of Brigsby (of course), a small kitten named Sugar Cookie, 7 hamsters (Ding Ding, Dong Dong, Sneaky, Midnight, Peaches, Hammy, and Suzie), 5 fish (Goldy, and no idea what the other 4 are named), 2 Turtles,  and a partridge in a pear tree.

Needless to say our house is a "hoppin" place and we decided to start charging admission for anyone who wants to come see....And we will pay for anyone who would like to come clean up the mess that comes along with having 16 pets. :)

Brigsby is an angel like always. However, the hamsters smell bad and bite (it creeps me out)...I don't deal with those wretched little demons...I leave that up to my brave husband. And Sugar Cookie is the devil himself in cat form. She is excessively needy, Meows (a blood curtling scream like meow) CONSTANTLY, and bites at my ankles when I walk around the apartment. I may or may not have kicked her across the room the other day to try to get the message across that I don't appreciate what she is doing to me. To top it off, the other day she climbed up on my body and tried to bite my neck...I'm convinced she was going for the Jugular.

I would be lying though if I didn't admit to the fact that watching Sugar Cookie interact with Brigsby is a riot. She started off following him around the house and keeping a safe distance...after a few days she worked up the courage to pounce on his back. Its precious especially because she has been "de-clawed" and Brigsby is oblivious to the little monster.

I could watch that for days and it would still crack me up. I guess I just will have to do just that. For the next two weeks. Yippie.