What I learned from pregnancy....

Those of you who have been through pregnancy will find that these tidbits I discovered are no surprise and might laugh at how naive I was, but this is what I've learned in my limited experience:

1. No matter how much I try to lie myself into thinking I am in control, God could easily remind me of his role in the matter with the little person He was putting together inside my tummy...talk about frustrating, humbling, comforting, and scary all at the same time.

2. Nine months is a very very long time to wait for something as exciting as a baby.

3. Chinese food does not sit well on a nauseous stomach.

4. Getting a round house kick to the ribs everyday is as miraculous and painful as it sounds.

5. Watching your tummy wiggle involuntarily is the strangest yet most incredible experience.

6. Hips hurt when they are trying to get wider.

7. Lower backs hurt when they are holding up a big belly.

8. Sleep is hard to do when the little nugget decides its wake time. Or when the calf cramps stop by for their nightly visit. Or when its time to pee for the 18th time.

9. Breathing gets hard to do when your lungs are confined to a third of the space they normally have to function.

10. No matter how hard you try to defy it, "pregnancy brain" is a real thing.

11. A peaceful walk next to a creek can easily become a not so subtle reminder that there is a baby pressing on the bladder and I haven't visited the bathroom in the last 20 minutes.

12. Grumpiness is alive and well when a baby is on the way and no matter how hard you try to fight it off sometimes it wins. Husbands beware.

13. Due dates don't mean squat.

14. Contractions hurt.

15. Sometimes it can take a very long time for pregnancy to be over. Like over 33 hours very long.

16. When the "water breaks" it can cause a surge of emotions: excitement, impatience, panic, and "holy cow, contractions do get worse!"

17. Four letter words that don't normally come from your mouth may or may not unexpectantly fire at will after experiencing #16.

18. Epidurals are God's special gift to woman kind. If you don't agree, I understand...just wait and see how you feel about it after hour 19 of pain...then you'll agree, after you cry tears of joy.

19. Everyone's body deals with extreme pain differently. Mine shakes uncontrollably and laughing creeps its way into my bawling. The nurse got a kick out of that.

20. There are a lot of fears about labor being embarrassing but when you're in the heat of the moment you could care less that everyone in the room is looking at your "girlie area", or that you puke all your guts out into the trashcan your husband is holding for you, or that you may or may not involuntarily do other things while pushing out a baby. All that starts to matter is holding that little baby in your arms.

21. All the frustration, impatience, and pain mentioned in 1-20 went away the moment she was laid on my chest and I said "Hi Lynley"... the crying came to an abrupt halt to focus on my face. My face. Mine. The source of the voice she had been hearing for 9 months. Her mother's voice. My voice. I think God gave me a very small taste of what it feels like for Him when He calls out after one of His children and he/she responds for the first time.

22. All that same frustration, impatience, and pain went even further away when I saw Josh with tears in his eyes hold our precious daughter and with an "I love you" put a kiss right on her little nose.

I'd do it again.

No doubt.

So, farewell pregnancy, until we meet again....

 

Wanted: Dead or...actually just dead.

Newton's first law of motion: Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it... keep this in mind, we'll get back to it...

Opossum, I've always had a dislike for the nasty creature that I'm convinced is from Satan himself,  but as of last Tuesday I was catapulted past slight disapproval straight to utter loathing when one of the stupid things tried to kill my husband.

The Vespa scooter was no match for the 15 pound beast and when Josh came to this realization, as the vile thing darted in front of him going 40 miles an hour, he tried to slam on the brakes. Enter Newton's first law of motion: the scooter had that "external force" of the brakes applied to suddenly slow it down, Josh however had no such force and thanks to said law: enter flying husband. As a result of airborne Josh, also enter hysterical pregnant wife who was following him in the car and caught the entire show.

They say your life flashes before your eyes when you have a "close encounter" with death, Josh said this wasn't true for him, there was no time...I however had my "future life" flash before my eyes as I sprint waddled up to him completley convinced he was going to die and I would be left here without him. It wasn't right. Not one bit. Horrible future life.

Thankfully, the Lord knew it wasn't right too and because of His mercy on me, Josh escaped with only bumps, bruises, and a broken collarbone.

Josh says one day I'll be able to look back and laugh at the time I almost went into labor because of an opossum...or about how I made him drive the rest of the way home because I was too much of an emotional train wreck to even try. Lets just say that day has yet to arrive. Might not for a good while.

Until that day, I can reflect back on the night and come away with four main points to focus on:

#1: I am so thankful for God's protection he poured out on Josh and for reminding me that He is in control even when I feel completley helpless.

#2: Josh is a such a wonderful blessing in my life that I take for granted sometimes. I tend to selfishly get distracted by stupid things like how I don't appreciate it when he: shakes his legs because it moves the whole couch/bed/car, tries to wear socks two/three/four days in a row, chews on his fingernails, or practices any of  his other hygene "no no's." How ridiculous is that? I shouldn't be focusing on these insignificant "flaws." I should instead be face down to the ground humbling my selfish self and thanking God for not only saving me but also blessing me beyond that by giving me (albeit not perfect but...) a wonderfully loving, intentionally Christ following, genuinely kind hearted man that I've been given to live this saved life with. And I'm completley in love with him too which is a wonderful perk as well. (Even if he does decides to go all "Evil Kinevil" on me every once in a while.)  Ok sorry, enough with the mushy.

Point #3: Wear your helmet people...Things could have been a lot worse for Josh if he hadn't had his on.

#4: Normally I'm no advocate for killing animals, but if you happen to see this Satan opossum around 167th street that came out of the Vespa incident unscathed...please kill the horrible thing. Its stupidity is a threat to human kind.